Just Existing

I watched as her lips spoke words of the chart

Feeling those walls feast on what pride I have left

The longer I sat there the more my body seized up

I can feel my muscles cramping

My hands become clammy

She utters…

P.T.S.D…

anxiety

Last but not least Depression

Going home all I see in the mirror are scrambled definitions defining me

The longer I stare into that pane of glass the more pain I feel in myself

The pain is numbing

a tingling sensation of just existing

so overwhelming

so sickening

Just disgusting

What makes matters worse is watching my family

they stare at me

stare through me

Piercing me with judgment

every ounce

Every goddamn ounce

wanting me to become another statistic

A number

They put a sign on my back spelling suicide

S-u-i-c-i-d-e

Read it

It’s red paint rushing down my back making me stand out in society

becoming a statistic

just a face among the millions wondering do I matter?

Do I matter?

Me leaving

will that stop the world from spinning

No, its just a moment in time that will come to end

people will move on and continue on till another one comes along.

-William Wilson

About the Poet

The poet, William Wilson is from Louisville Kentucky. This poem is about coming home after serving in the armed forcing and being pushed aside. Through this poem, William tries to bring out the beauty in the darkest work. He wrote these poetic words after suffering a panic attack and it helped him calm down.
He intends to send the message that writing is an amazing tool for dealing with hard times.

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